Wednesday, April 05, 2006

20 weeks and 1 day: Boy Fear

Today we had the big ultrasound. I believe they called it an anatomy check. We turned our heads to keep the gender a secret, but were treated to great images of the brain, heart, kidneys, spine, feet, fingers, legs, and arms. Baby's anatomy checks out. Which is good, of course.

So why am I feeling down? Can I blame my mother? Please?

She called tonight because J sent a couple of shots from the ultrasound. Sweet, sweet stuff. I picked up the phone to, " I think you are having a little boy. It just looks like a boy profile." (My mom doesn't waste much time on pleasantries. She goes straight to whatever is on her mind.)And my heart sank at her pronouncement because I thought the same thing when I was looking at the images. That this profile looks more masculine than Es profile. I've been in a funk ever since her call because I realize that I have a serious case of boy fear. Serious, serious boy fear. I had a touch of this when I was pregnant the first time, but it has grown. Perhaps I think my little girl is so perfect that I can't imagine what I will do with a boy.

Why am I scared of boys? Because they squirt. That is a biggie. Because they are full of energy. Because my friends with boys describe them as "wild ones." Because two of my friends who had boys after girls seem bemused by the whole thing. Because one told me that if she had her boy first she would have stopped there. Because they take longer to potty train. Because I grew up with brothers. Because I am a fearful wuss and the unknown unsettles me.

I am going to spend the next 20 weeks or so worried about this. But the good news is that I won't be worrying about chromosomal problems, and I won't be worrying about a cleft palate, club foot, or a heart or brain abnormality. And I do know that when this little baby emerges, I will think it is the most beautiful and perfect baby ever born regardless of whether it squirts.

Still, I could use a little reassurance here. Moms of boys, help me out here.

9 comments:

AmyinMotown said...

Not a mom of a boy, but read Moxie (she's on A Little Pregnant's Big List under "arrived.") She has two boys and recently wrote a GREAT post about raising them. My mother will say that I was a fairly difficult baby for her, but my brother was a sleepy perfect baby. My nephew is a boy (really, Amy?? Sheesh. NO. Sleep.) and he is sooooo mellow and sweet and low-key. Maggie's the rough and tumble one and he's the calm one when they are together. And he's funny and cute and smart as a whip.

christine said...

I have often been curious how they are different. I'm only looking at it from one side here. I won't be much help!

I too had boy fear when I got pregnant and Seb was beside himself, clutching his heart because he wanted this little girl so badly and he couldn't picture a boy as part of his adoring entourage. I got over it quickly and just threw myself into looking for cute clothes, difficult but possible. It took Seb a few weeks to adjust. Now of course we are enamoured by our mini guy and we would even be happy if he could have a little brother to pal around with. The girl thing was all so silly anyway.

And you know Em that little boys LOVE their mother. Dad is okay but mom RULES! How can you not love that? Plus their easier to clean, or so I've been told. No folds!

christine said...

Hey are we gonna get belly shots here or what? I'm feeling like I paid full price so what gives? Give us the full show big lady!!

Bittermama said...

Hi, Em - sorry to be so late in reading this, but I think I can offer some boy fear reassurance. I felt much the same way you did when I first found out that G would be a boy. But now I just can't imagine having missed out on all of the things I'm enjoying about his boyness. My brother was a definite troublemaker and everyone in my family goes on and on about how boys are wild and bad and whatever else. But they really don't have to be. In fact, the only really obnoxious kid in our playgroup is a girly girl. Yes, I've had to learn the names of countless types of vehicles. And yes, I've definitely been squirted on. But potty training is going pretty well - only a 3 accidents in the first week of training and he's only just turned 2.5!

I think for me, it took realizing that this particular little boy didn't necessarily have to live up to all of the sterotypes (and besides, if he's as nerdy as my husband was I don't imagine he'll be getting into all that much trouble).

It really has been amazing.

Anonymous said...

Boys are wonderful! You'll have a great time with a baby boy. The squirts are few and far between and they add a lifetime of personality to your family.

BTW -- my mother claims that both her boys were infinitely easier to raise than my sister and me. go figure.

Emma in Canada said...

My mother would say the same and so would I...boys are easier.

My son, at 10, will always be my baby, even though he will have 2 younger sisters.

I would not trade in any of my girls (even though at some point in pregnancy I wished for girls with all 3) but there is just something about being mother to a son. Maybe it's that whole 'your daughter's your daughter for life, but your son is only your son until he takes a wife' thing. Could be I know he won't be mine forever. Sounds silly reading it though!

Emma in Canada said...

Meant to say I wished for boys with all 3 girls at some point during pregnancy.

YouGuysKnow said...

hey there :) my first visit to your blog. i've been reading around your blog - back from Dec when you found out you were preg with the 1% chance. what a cool story! i wish you continued luck. hugs!

YouGuysKnow said...

p.s. if it's any consolation, i am the older sister of a little brother. my mom always said that i was more "challenging" than my brother. turns out that he's a mellow dude and i'm more... anxious??? but anyway, i don't think it's always gender related. sometimes it's just the baby's personality...