Dr. Negative and Nurse Joy

I had a nice visit with baby Katherine today. She made tiny squawking sounds as she slept in my arms. My friend K was very generous to let me hold her and watch the parade of expressions flick across her face as she slept swaddled and capped in pink. I felt wistfulness to be sure, but ultimately it just felt good to share in K's happiness and marvel at the beauty of life so new.

Oddly enough, the visit was not the emotional landmine I had expected. That honor was reserved for Dr. Negative and Nurse Joy (her real name-I am NOT making that up). I called to say I wanted to try one round of injections and IUI. Nurse Joy called me back and, in the most patronizing tone imaginable, told me the following:

1. Dr. Negative strongly advises against it as it is highly unlikely to work. He has written this in my chart so now it is part of my permanent record. Better for the insurance company to deny coverage.
2. Yes, of course, there are a few women in that lucky 1-5% who succeed with numbers like mine, but there are 95-99% who don't and I should plan to be in that latter group.
3. I had 18 antral follicles that made it to one baby when I conceived two years ago. Now that I only have 9 antrals, what is the point?
4. I should really consider donor eggs. Really.
5. It is too bad that I am not, 15 years old, poor and black. Because I would get pregnant easily then (a racist, classist nurse-Joy!).

So the plan at the moment is to do one cycle of injections and IUI here. Really, I consider this to be a data gathering mission. I want to know how I respond to the stims so I can have the best protocol at SIRM. If I get pregnant during this fact finding mission that will be wonderful; if not, I'll head west to SIRM in the spring. Dr. S at SIRM wrote me a nice note tonight, so I go to bed with hope:

This is incomprehensible to me. At 37 with an FSH on day 3 of 6.7 MIU/ml in association with a low E2 and at least 9 antral follicles, you should have a reasonable chance of a successful IVF in my opinion. You could even be eligible
for the OBP (see below) at SIRM. A single abnormal CCCT change does not alter my opinion.