Friday, November 11, 2005

It hit me tonight.

Baby E. was up needing a sip of water and a cuddle moment. Normally, I would be a bit annoyed to have my sleep broken up. But tonight as we rocked and she lay quietly in my arms, head on my shoulder, it hit me. I may never have another child. I may never have another child. I may never have another child.

When I was working hard to conceive Baby E, it never occurred to me that infertility, round 2, could cut so deep. My heart and soul are primed. But is my body able?

1 comment:

Bittermama said...

You put it beautifully. This time around has turned out to be more difficult (in terms of where we are with treatment and how long we've been trying) than last time around. It's been hard to accept that because I had all kinds of assumptions I didn't want to own up to about how sure, we might have to do infertility treatments again, but there was now way we'd have to (fill in the blank).

I'm all caught up on your blog entries now. By the way - I went to high school in South Carolina and my family is still there. My parents are in Pawleys and my brother and his girlfriend live in Charleston. We're down there all the time for visits.