Warning to the next person who tells me of someone who got pregnant:

• as soon as the doctor said she couldn't
• as soon as she relaxed
• as soon as she ate organic wheat germ grown in her own yard
• as soon as she stopped stressing
• as soon as she made a big purchase and accrued debt
• as soon as she used cough syrup
• as soon as she adopted/ chose a surrogate/ gave up ttc
• as soon as she gave up her job

I will punch you. Zip it.