I have a talent that is often helpful, but is occasionally just weird. I remember birthdays. For years and years. My best friend in fifth grade who I haven't seen since 1980? December 5. The mother of a friend from second grade? December 24. My first college roommate who I hated with a passion? August 30.
This isn't a bad talent to have--I remember to send birthday cards to friends and family and can be depended upon to send reminders to send birthday cards to my brothers and husband who do not share this talent. However, I have been know to freak people out. Like the clerk at the bank who casually mentioned it was her birthday July 3 one year and who I wished a happy birthday the next year-- I'm pretty sure she thought I was stalking her.
Which brings me to today. Today is the 40th birthday of an ex boyfriend, S, who was the last person I dated before I met J. S was an asshole from the beginning, but it took me a while to figure it out. I thought he was mysterious and worldly. This was probably because I was a senior in college and he was a graduate student, and I found graduate students rather exotic and exciting. It was a short affair: we met at a Halloween party and the relationship was over by the following August.
He criticized everything I did, even the way I put on deodorant. When I had a migraine and said I was nauseous, instead of offering up an icepack he informed me that nauseated was the correct word to use. He noticed when I gained five pounds. He slept with another person and "forgot" to tell me about it until I confronted him. Yes, he was that kind of guy. And here he is intruding on my nice day.
He had one hangup. He didn't want me to look at him while he was disrobed. Actually, he didn't want me to look at it. Maybe he failed to realize that it did not require the sense of sight to realize that he had a wee willy-- just like a little shiitake.
1 comment:
He sounds lovely! Be thankful someone else is stir-frying that mushroom.
I hope E is feeling better.
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