Mother's Milk

The first day of daycare went as well as it could have. I'll let you guess which one of us did the crying today.

I'm a bit concerned because I did not pump as much as she took from the bottle today. Fortunately, I do have a small stash of frozen milk. It tastes terrible--like soap--but she'll take it.* The stash won't last forever, though.

I've been worried about this. Despite buying a $300 pump, I never get much output. Three ounces is a great pumping session for me. My yield decreases as the day goes on and by evening, I can't pump much.

What is strange is that when I nurse M, she usually seems satisfied. Occasionally, there are nights when I have to supplement her with what I have pumped earlier in the day, but this is not an everyday occurrence.

Perhaps I'm sensitive to this because I've had supply issues related to postpartum preeclampsia with both girls. My milk came in so late (10 days) with E that I was never able to exclusively breastfeed. Mother's milk was the supplement and formula was the main course. By three months she was balking at taking the breast, and by four months, I was reduced to pumping for her. I quit altogether at six months. One day, when she falls in love with a Republican creationist, I'll know it was my fault for not getting more breastmilk into her.

My milk started to come in earlier with M. I still had supply issues, but the preeclampsia was so severe that I was readmitted to the hospital where I had access to an awesome lactation consultant. Using a supplemental feeder, I was able to continue breastfeeding and was able to end supplementation within a few weeks. Being able to exclusively breastfeed her has been hard work, but a joy all the same. Look at this chubby baby! I did that!

My fear at the moment is that I'm not going to be able to produce enough for her. I am not one of those breastfeeding Nazis who condemns women who formula feed, but breastmilk factors heavily in my rationalization of daycare. I feel like if M can't be with me all day that she should at least have a part of me.

I've spent a little bit of time browsing sites about boosting milk production and looking for pumping tips. I'm going to set the alarm to wake up extra early and try a pumping session. If that works, I may just be able to meet her needs. I'm also starting Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle. I'll let you know how it goes.

*If ten years ago, you had told me I would be doing taste tests of my milk, I'm afraid I would have run from the room screaming.